your thong is hanging out like whoa
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
