he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball