But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..