I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.