I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
