Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
