so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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