Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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