Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
