after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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