Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Randomize
