ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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