I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
