dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
