Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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