I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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