I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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