you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
