I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
