Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you still have your period?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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