so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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