ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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