The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
