You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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