Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
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There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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