As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
false alarm, still single
Randomize