People in love make me want to vomit
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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