i jhust puked up my retainher.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
