They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
