hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
