He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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