he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i drank out of a bidet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
