Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
