Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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