oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
