now i know why i became what i already was.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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