ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
