I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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