Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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