Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..

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(916): View more from California

In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

(1-916): View more from California

Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

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23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read

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(316): View more from Kansas

I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD

(316): View more from Kansas

I AM IN MILD DISTRESS

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying

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