he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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