the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
