what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
