i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
