is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
