Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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