Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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