well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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