Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
