I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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