Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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