I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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