Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
