So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
