apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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