ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
