I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
