she was so not down for the gang bang
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
