i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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