I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
