I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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