Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
