I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
