Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
