so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
