I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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