Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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