Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
