Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This house was built for laser tag.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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